Spain’s got its tentacles on Paul

Paul the Psychic Octopus is under demand. Not only for the Dutch ore d’oeuvres menu, but a zoo in Spain. Madrid’s Zoo Aquarium has said that it will trump what Oberhausen Sea Life Centre receives for Paul. The idea is that Paul will attract visitors to Spain.

He appears to be improving, too. His 2008 Eurocopa guesses weren’t as impressive – any respecting psychic needs to better four out of six guesses. This world cup, however, Paul was on form with 100 percent accuracy. By the time of the finals, Paul’s prediction were regarded as sacrosanct.

Now if you had to guess the outcomes of matches by being presented with two hamburgers that have different flags sticking out the top bun, you’ve got a 50 percent chance. To do it correctly 12 out of 14 times, however, gives you a 0.65 percent chance. So although it’s not likely you’re going to be correct, it’s not impossible. Consider how many pub owners decided to have their own superstitious means of guessing game outcomes. Those means that weren’t successful simply didn’t make the news.

SA’s ego

The general consensus at the Holland (hup hup!) vs Spain game was that South Africa was in for a massive hangover the next day. Not only because of the Heineken and Amstel consumption (only to support Holland, of course) – but because we had to accept that soccer was no longer an excuse. Responsibility would ensue once again.

Yet, four days since the world cup ended and the excitement hasn’t subsided. I’m still waiting to hear, “Okay fine, South Africa did manage when I insisted that we would fail dismally”. But that’s okay. (Incidentally, I’m also waiting to hear, “…and it appears that South Africa is not going to the dogs, despite what my ozzy expat friends promised”). Post world cup and we’re watching the news desperately. Not because of the BP oil spill, but because the coverage on how successful the world cup was is really stroking the country’s ego.

Here’s what some important fellows had to say:

Barack Obama (important because he’s the only president that would look good in a spandex superman costume) – South Africans have “extraordinary energy” and South Africa is not only a “national but world treasure”.

Jacob Zuma (important because he’s the only president who wouldn’t look good in spandex and still have so many wives) – “The hosting of the 2010 World Cup has helped us consolidate the gains we achieved after attaining freedom in 1994.”

Sepp Blatter (not important but pitied because his name on Wiki got vandalised to the swiss slang for penis. The name got put on an accolade and then presented to him by Jacob Zuma) – “big compliments to the South African government for meeting all the guarantees they made for the successful organisation of the World Cup.”

So there you have it. We must be amazing.

“West Africa is a great country”

“I love Africa in general. South Africa and West Africa. They are both great countries,” Paris Hilton commented when asked for her thoughts on South Africa.

Now one might find this awfully depressing news to know that such a desperately …misinformed… celebrity has the status that she does.

But Hilton’s spirit for Africa can be appreciated. I’m not sure how much of the World Cup she actually watched (I once watched her at Coke Fest take photos of herself when her boyfriend, Benji Madden from Good Charlotte, was performing onstage), but the optimists of South Africa will grab that comment as an indication of this country’s quality. The pessimists, on the other hand, are busy looking away or awkwardly changing the subject when there’s a comment of how successful the World Cup has been. After all, Sepp Blatter has given South Africa a nine out of ten for hosting the cup.

Africa according to Paris Hilton